"We are all handmade people created by a God who is not safe or small." Rend Collective Experiment

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Isaiah 43:5

Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west Isaiah 43:5

So, how did we get from China to Ethiopia... The story is a long one that spans over two and a half years.

We immediately began investigating adopting from China. Every agency we spoke with though told us that we had too many children. The limit was four children in the home. We were sad but clung to those famous words from "The Sound of Music" when God closes a door somehwere he opens a window.

We began looking into Guatemala and immediately I fell head over heels for those precious little children.

After much research and prayer my dh told me that he didn't feel called to Guatemala. I was so sad and a little pouty ;o) Later that evening I cracked open my Bible and this is what I read Psalm 27:14: "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" that was my answer and we waited..

We were drawn to another country and began the process. We flew through our paperwork in record time. We accepted the referral of two beautiful children, a little girl 2 and a little boy also 2. We were told they would be home by Christmas and we were so excited! During this time I received a word from God. I was sitting in our Wed. night service and our pastor was preaching on claiming the promises in Scripture. The Holy Spirit whispered in that still small voice Isaiah 43:5... I turned there and read and was amazed at what a personal God we have. I tucked that verse in my heart never knowing how it would sustain me..

A few months in the process our agency called us and told us that our son's birth mother had come and taken him. We were very sad to lose this little one but understood that it was the birth mother's choice and God's will. About a month later we recieved the referral of another little boy, a 1 yo. He was a doll. We were told that court could happen at any time and we prepared their room for them. The beds were done, the clothes hung in the closet, the little shoes...black patent leathers for her~~ itty bitty cowboy boots for him... and we waited... for 2 years we waited. It was so hard. Everytime the phone rang I was sure it was "the call". Every holiday and every birthday I would think this is the last one and then they will be home.. After two long years we learned that they would NEVER come home. Our hearts were devastated, broken, crushed... these were the children of our hearts and our dreams.

During the years we waited I had begun to read some adoption lists. I was particularly touched by a family who adopted a little one from Ethiopia. I loved sweet little Abel's story and I was so impressed with the agency they used, AAI. I began to tell my dh that after our two little ones were home we needed to adopt from Ethiopia. I joked with him that I even knew it would be a baby boy and we would name him Philip as I had heard a sermon from John MacArthur called the Master's Men about the bond between Nathanael and Philip. We had a Nathanael and I was sure we would have a Philip from Ethiopia. He laughed at me..

When it became obvious that our adoption was in serious trouble I was emotionally devastated. One day my dh called me from work and told me to start looking into the process for Ethiopia. I told him I would, but my heart wasn't into it. It was a Friday and AAI's Ethiopian staff didn't work on Friday, so I was told to call on Monday.

Over the weekend my hurt turned into rebellion. I basically told God that I would not adopt from Ethiopia or anywhere else for that matter. I told Him, "Forget it!" and determined that we would just be regular people who lived their lives. That we would no longer be people who lived in a perpetual state of adoption. I even thought my dh could buy a new truck with the money we would save on not adopting.. one of those Harley Fords he liked so much..

I was through with the world of adoption. God however, had other plans......

1 comment:

The Barr Family said...

Great blog and so inspiring. I love the verses and your stories! We just had our court date and had no idea we even had one until it was over! So I read how you waited and waited and waited for yours and thought again what a blessing it was to just get a surprise phone call saying you have two new sons! I will be praying for your travel!