When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid. Psalm 56:3-4
Before we began our adoptions I am afraid I may have been one of those annoying people who thought that adopting was "the easy way" of having a child. I mean really..no morning sickness, no stretch marks, no labor... and then we began the process and we had that picture of those precious little ones who were "ours" but were half-way around the world. I don't know that anyone except an adoptive parent can understand how hard that is. I remember getting an e-mail letting us know our baby in Ethiopia was in the hospital with pneumonia and telling us to try an not to worry. Ha! As if that were even possible. Then last summer just weeks before our boys were to come home fighting erupted in the capital of Ethiopia. The director of our agency informed me that is was quite close to where our 3 yo's orphanage was. Again I was beseeched with worry. During some point in our adoptions I concluded that being physically pregnant was much easier than adoption, afterall your baby was safe and sound and right under your heart.
And then...I found I was pregnant the day after returning home from Ethiopia with our Wee Babe. I had had 5 uncomplicated pregnancies and had no real cause for concern. Then at 7 weeks we found out I was pregnant with twins but one had gone to be with the Lord before we were ever to hold them. Our Dr. informed us gravely that this could mean the other baby would be lost too.
Then wondrously at 13 weeks they told us all should be fine and to expect a normal pregnancy from there on out.
two weeks ago at 16 weeks I began bleeding rather heavily late one night. We had no idea what his meant for our little one. It was during this time that I realized that it is not being a biological mother or an adoptive mother that is hard..it's just being a mother. All of our children ultimately belong to God and what a blessing it is that he entrusts them to us for however long He does. He loves our children even more than we do which is so hard to fathom...but He is their Creator and the Bible tells us how He fashioned each one in the womb. What a privelege and a blessing to be a Mother. The rewards are so great and God is so good!
On this past Tuesday we loaded up all the children and headed in for an ultrasound. There our sweet little baby GIRL was just a kicking and a squirming oblivious to the worries of those who love her.. She is fine! A sweet little one and we pray the Lord will let us hold her for many years. May we always realize that all of our little ones are safe in the arms of Jesus..