"We are all handmade people created by a God who is not safe or small." Rend Collective Experiment

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Toddler Adoption~

-j asked me in the comments about what kind of carrier I was using with Sweet Pea. It is an Ergo

I have used a lot of baby carriers, and the Ergo is by far the best for little ones past the newborn stage. The weight is distributed to your hips rather than to your shoulders or back making it extremely comfortable.

I do love my pouch slings for the newborn stage up to 20 lbs.. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Hotslings are now being sold at Target.

If you are adopting an infant or a toddler I highly recommend investing in a good baby carrier. It is an excellent tool for attachment purposes. Your little one is going to need you to hold them a lot.

I wore Wee Babe the whole time in a Sling on our Ethiopian trip. I don't recall seeing any sidewalks in Ethiopia (outside of the Hilton). Most of the time you will be walking over dirt and rocks. A stroller is not practical to use for traveling around Ethiopia. I am guessing it is the same for Ghana. Your will want a hands free way to carry your child...also it comes in handy for the LONG trip home.

I frequently am asked advice about adopting toddlers. I am far from an expert on the topic, but we have adopted three children in the 1-3 year age bracket. All three are attached and doing very well. I can simply share what has worked for us with our boys.

During the waiting process is the best time to read books on toddler adoption. You will not have time once they are home ;o). Our library carries several of these books as well as others on attachment.

With Eyes Wide Open is an excellent book to start with. It is not geared specifically to toddler adoption, however it gives a very realistic overview of the challenges adopted children may face while not being overly "scary".

Mary Hopkins Best's Toddler Adoption the Weaver's Craft is the most well known book on toddler adoptions. I did not love this book, but I will say it is a MUST read for those adopting children under the age of 5. There are some hard things in this book, and some stories which honestly frightened me, BUT it also motivated me to be extremely vigilant and intentional in promoting attachment and bonding.

Attaching in Adoption is the best book I have read on attachment. It gives the facts about attachment and practical steps to facilitating attachment. It is an excellent book.

Mary's Ethiopian Adoption Blog is an incredible resource for adoptive parents. She writes quite a bit about attachment and bonding.. along with all things pertaining to Ethiopia and adoption.

A Mother for Choco is a book for your children. This is one of our children's favorite books. It is a sweet, sweet story about a little bird who need a Mother..and how he found one who didn't look exactly like him.

Two books which deal with the Spiritual side of adoption are The Strength of Mercy and Fields of the Fatherless
I can't say enough about these two books. They were a huge blessing during our journeys to our boys.

Next time I will share on ways we worked towards attachment with our boys.


Robin's Reports said...

I'm highly attached to you and I didn't need an Ergo or Hotsling. ha ha.

You're doing such a wonderful service to adoptive moms who have so many questions. It's hard to know where to turn.

Ok, my time is up. Time to get back to the boat.

danellejoy said...

I was wondering if you could tell me the authors of The Strength for Mercy and Fields of the Fatherless? I'd like to ask for these two books for Christmas! =) Blessings!

Mary Grace said...

Thank you so much for posting this. I skimmed over it a while back, and then came looking for it today after getting a call about a sibling set 4 & 2 years old. I'm a little nervous about issues with the 4 yo ... but very confident that the Lord has a plan. Now, I just have to listen for it. :-)